Yesterday my cousin Tim, his wife Candice, and I went to see a movie. It was pouring down rain all weekend, and when I say pouring down rain, I mean POURING with a capital everything. For an example of how much it rained, take a look at what the Dorimcheon park looked like yesterday evening. I went for a walk there about six hours after it stopped raining, and the stream was so high that the walking path on the side was covered in about six inches of water.



What's terrible is that wasn't even the worst part of it. There were weeds stuck on the tops of the guardrails, which lead me to believe that the water was at least waist high earlier in the day. I can't even imagine that kind of flooding! I sure hope that no one was down there at that time, because that water must have been moving fast.

But that isn't too important. The important thing is that Tim and Candice and I saw a movie together. We were trying to see Expendables, but apparently that isn't too popular in Korea, so barely had any show times. Since I wanted to go in the afternoon in order to take it easy on Sunday evening, we couldn't make it happen.

The only other English movies available were Predators, which they had seen, and Piranha 3D. Since we had no other choice, Piranha 3D it was. And what a magnificent movie this was to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Sure, the gore was overwhelming, sure the nudity was way beyond the realms of good taste. But that was really what made the movie so watchable in my eyes. Ostensibly it was billed as a horror movie, but I honestly don't think that I stopped laughing for the entire 90 minutes.

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun watching a movie. Yes, there were terrible gross out moments, yes, the plot was horrendous and made no sense. Yes, I loved every minute of it. Piranha 3D isn't the type of movie that you would go to and expect to think. You roll in there, turn your brain off, and have a very enjoyable hour and a half. I couldn't recommend this movie more highly.

Of course we went and saw it in 'Real 3D', which is somehow different than 'Digital 3D', but I don't know how or why. Still, this is one of the phew movies that I think really are made better by 3D. So, if you go, and I am urging you to, watch it with the glasses, you won't be disappointed.

Recently I have decided to change my future plans so that I could become a world renowned rock and roller, or is that rocker and roller? I'm still kind of lost with these hip new terms. My first thought was to get a guitar or a drum set, but then I realized that full sized instruments were only used to make up for their owner's lack of manliness, if you know what I'm saying. So, with that knowledge firmly in hand, I knew that I should buy something more fitting for me. To that end, I settled on the ukulele.

Why ukulele? Well, my whole philosophy is that people will say me playing the uke and think "Wow, with that tiny instrument, he isn't compensating for ANYTHING!" And by tricking them into thinking that, I will, in fact be compensating for something. No, no, not that. I will be compensating for the pitiful, hollow shell of an existence that I call my life. Pardon me while I go cry. Oh, what, you thought that ukulele players were all happy people? We all have our demons, readers, even ukulelists* if that, is in fact a word.

Ok, let's get back on track. I am absolutely tone deaf, and don't even listen to music in my leisure time. So why did I buy a ukulele? Well, I did it the same reason I make any of my purchases. I do it scientifically. I set out and make a list of positives and negatives, and if the positive list is longer, I buy it. Naturally after I tallied up the card for the uke the only negative point was that I have been a fool for the past thirty plus years of my life for not buying one. The next thing I did was hop online and buy this bad boy:



Yes, I am a king among men.

Actually, I bought the ukulele for three very distinct reasons. Reason one, my cousin Timmy McMorris (if that is his real name!) plans on relocating to Seoul this summer and somehow the ukulele came up in conversation. This got my mind thinking about it. Reason two, I read online that ukulele is one of the easier musical instruments to learn. Reason three, I am coming to the end of my semester at work, and I have tons of free time. I needed something to do aside from drinking until I pass out in an alley only to wake up and find a homeless man relieving himself (number 2!) on my face. Oh, and bonus reason: I don't think it is possible to see a guy with a ukulele and not smile. How could I go wrong? (Aside from the obvious of putting it under my bed after three weeks and never playing it again)

*Finally, while searching to see if I could use the word 'ukulelist', I came across some jokes. 1) What do you call a guy who plays ukulele for a living who just lost his girlfriend? Homeless. 2) What do you call a professional ukulele player with a pager? An optimist. 3) What's the difference between a uke player and a large pepperoni pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four .

So I guess my plan to garner fame and fortune is out. Oh well.

Ok, ok, ok, I am going to post two times in a row about my houseplants. Either that means I am lonely, or I have a very very boring life. Perhaps both. Actually, it is either the plants or the hiking, and the plant photos are a bit easier to go through, so there you have it. Don't worry, I still have other things waiting in the wings, it is just that my time has been limited (sort of) and I am lazy (very).

For today's segment, I just wanted to compare some new and old with my house plants. All of the plants are doing pretty well, with the exception of the pig's ear. I am following the instructions with that one, but it just isn't getting along so well. I reckon that perhaps the pot is too small. Sadly for the plant, I really like the pot, and so it suffers. To be honest, I wouldn't even say that it is doing poorly. It just isn't really doing much of anything. A couple of baby stalks popped up in the pot, but they are oddly shaped and kind of sickly looking. Who knows.

Anyway, take a look at the before and after shot of my window plants. Excuse the lighting difference, unfortunately I had to work today, so had to take the picture at a different time.


That is now, and this is then:


As you can see, at the very least some of them have upgraded their living arrangements. Naturally the oxalis plant is doing well, being that it is a weed. The happy tree is doing pretty well, even though all the branches and leaves fell off when I replanted it. Fortunately they grew back. The pig's ear is just kind of doing what it is doing, and the lucky tree is growing well out of the two main areas, with two more spots budding as we speak. I feel successful!

Actually, the place I feel most successful is with the zz plant. Take a look at how small the new branches were just two months ago:



And compare that action with what I have going on today:



See that big one right in the middle? Yep, that's it. I guess it grew about two feet in two months. Impressive!

I was just rewatching Conan that Barbarian today, and it brought back a lot of memories. I hadn't seen it in over a decade, but the movie really has withstood the test of time. It is too bad that the second one is so bad, because I could definitely have gone with more Arnold era Conan movies. I don't actually have anything else to write here, I just wanted to include a few choice moments from the film on video. Take a look below:



I don't think that I have anything to add to that. Actually, I do have one thing to add. After that last camel punch, take a look at how angry Arnold is. That is what I call quality acting.

So I was trying to pay off my student loan for the past two weeks or so, but the website is junk and I couldn't manage to do it. Finally I emailed someone directly for a payoff quote and figured to just pay the balance that they told me. The thing is that I accidentally misread the quote (I should have borrowed more and gone to a better university, I reckon), and this is what I ended up with.



I don't really know what they are going to do, but I am too lazy to go back and make an electronic payment for just 3 cents. I figure that when the bill becomes due again they will just remove the 3 cents from my bank account and it will be done with. I really don't know, though. Maybe it will just stay there forever, and my 3 cent debt will haunt me for the rest of my life.

This weekend the weather is beautiful. After the overcast, cold and windy opening day weekend that we had to suffer through last week, I am pretty happy for the turnaround. I'm not happy that I have no outside plans, but maybe something will come up. Actually, I have been harassing everyone I know to climb a mountain with me, but it seems that my friends are more interested in getting drunk than getting fresh air. Shame on them!

On a positive note, this is the first weekend that it is really warm enough for me to feel comfortable opening the window wide and letting my plants soak up direct sunshine and fresh air. They seem pretty happy with it, take a look:



In case you can't tell what they are, from left to right I have a happy tree (heteropanax fragrans, or 행복나무/해피트리), some Oxalis (사랑초 or love plant), an unidentified something, and a fortune tree (행운목). The happy tree apparently doesn't have a common name in English, so I just named it since that is what it is called in Korean. It is only about six inches tall now, but when I did a web search for it, I learned that it can grow to be eight feet tall. Whoops! It is an actual tree, so that is kind of surprising. If I can manage to grow it from six inches to full size, though, that will be pretty cool. Plus, it was only 2,000w (less than 2$).

The Oxalis is actually considered a garden pest since it spreads like wildfire and doesn't like to die. It looks very cool, though, and in Korean is named the love plant, so I had to buy that one, too. Again, it was only 2,000w, so it was hard to resist. Besides, if it is very hard to kill, it is probably a good plant for me. On top of it all, the leaves are edible, so if I ever have a craving...

Speaking of edible, the next plant really calls me to eat it. I know it is a bad idea, but the leaves or clubs or pods, or whatever those things are called that are growing out of it look really tasty for some reason. So far I have managed to resist the urge, but if I end up dying via poisoning, you will know why. Unfortunately because of the way I placed the flowerpot you can't see this, but there is a big number 5 on the front, making it look like an over-sized billiard ball. Not that cool, but hey, it only cost 1,000w.



The final plant, my fortune tree, is another plant that I don't know the English name of. I just translated the Korean. The good part about the fortune tree is that it lives directly in water, and therefore is nearly impossible to kill. As long as I keep water in the mug, it will be fine. The best part about that mug is that there is a face on the other side, so it is like a homemade Chia Pet. Of course it is facing the wrong way, though, so it can't be seen easily.



Oh wait, there is more. I also have my two larger plants that can't be put at the window. First is my sansevieria plant, aka mother in law's tongue. I have had this guy for years, and in all that time of torture, it remained healthy. I water the plant once every few months, and it just keeps on keeping on. Not just that, it is thriving. Well, except for the front corner where I accidentally killed most of it with an errantly hung jacket. Even that spot still has a shoot growing out, and I am sure that over time it will grow back just fine. The rest of the plant grows more or less like wildfire the moment I put water in the pot. So basically it sits dormant for months at a time, and then as soon as I add water new shoots will pop out all over the place, and the existing ones will grow a few inches. Maybe it should be nicknamed the gremlin plant.



Finally, I have my ZZ Plant, which is probably my favorite one. If you take a look, you will see why. It looks great and is very easy to care for. It doesn't require direct sunlight and handles neglect well. In short, it is the perfect plant for me.



It takes abuse so well, in fact, that it has new buds coming in as we speak. I haven't given it any water since I bought it, although I repotted it into moist soil. Other than that, I have just kept it out of direct sunlight and left it alone. Take a peek at what is coming in.

I am sick, so didn't get the chance to really write anything today, so instead you are going to get filler. Let's start this with a picture. Take a look at the photo and tell me what seems odd to you.



Where do we begin? First of all, it is the end of March and I still have Christmas stockings hanging up. Then, there is the fact that my apartment is so small I have to keep my bread and cereal on the desk next to my computer. To top it all off, what is going on with that gigantic box of Special K!? Well, I can tell you about the cereal. I went to the grocery store this evening to get some various items that didn't include cereal. However, I notice the giant box of Special K was on sale. Not only was it on sale, but it came with two Tony the Tiger coffee mugs. That is a deal that I can't beat. I was so excited that I ended up leaving the store without getting whatever it was that I was supposed to buy. To be honest, I still can't even remember what I was supposed to get. Either my memory is terrible, or my life is so boring that the big box of Special K just sent me for a loop.

Also, for those of you who admire Tony the Tiger mug collections, take a peek.



And yes, I will buy anything if it comes with something free attached. As you can see in the first picture, there is a small box of Corn Flight. That came with the box of Cranberry Almond Granola (great cereal, by the way). Naturally I would never buy a cereal that Flion the Lion is the mascot of (yeah, that is his real name).

Yes, I am pathetic. I also have a terrible cold, so I am going to lie down now. I have to rest up so I am feeling my best for the big opening day game tomorrow. Woo...

Sorry that I haven't been a little slow on the updates the past week or so, but I have been busy getting all my stuff organized for work, and just haven't really had a chance to write anything. I do have more to say about Thailand, but first I want to talk about spam. Spam emails are a serious hassle. We all get them, and generally we all hate it.

Those of you who are bloggers, I am sure also get spam comments on the blog. Even with my Captcha software, spam still sneaks through, and although it isn't a heavy deluge, it can be quite annoying. However, as time goes by, spam becomes better and better at sneaking onto the blog. For example, spam originally was just something like 'By my Nikezzzz! Chepaest prices avalaible no my webstroe!!!' In other words, easy to spot, easy to weed out.

Then it started to become more sophisticated. Spam comments recently started commenting by copy and pasting select sentences from the blog that the comment was placed on. When the sentences don't fit together it is easy to spot, but sometimes they sound like a perfectly well reasoned comment. Even more so, because they are stealing my own words!

Finally, I noticed two spam comments that I got today. You can see them if you are so inclined, by following these links: spam comment 1, spam comment 2. Both of these comments seem to be spam right off the get go. The first one is from an older post that is totally uninteresting, so wouldn't easily be found by someone surfing the web, and both of them have strange, spam sounding usernames.

The thing is, both of these comments actually contribute some sort of value to the article, or at the very least are worthy to be considered a discussion on the article at hand. So, the question is, do I deem them as spam because I don't know who wrote them and they lead to (surprisingly unsuspicious) unknown websites? Where do we draw the line between spam and a real comment? If the spam adds some dialog to the article, then can it really be considered spam? Or, conversely, should any comment left by a 'legitimate' user that contains a link to their site (be it blog, online store, or whatever) be considered spam?

At the far end of the spectrum, you could disallow links of any kind in comments, but that seems to be working against the way the internet is designed to work. On the other hand, if you just allow any and all comments on your site, you will soon end up with hundreds of worthless comments. Where is the middle ground?

I'm going to take a short break from my vacation writing today. Actually, I already wrote the blog entry, I just have to resize pictures and organize everything, and I am just too lazy to complete it. Instead, I will point out how ridiculously ridiculous people are in the world. Now, if I can call someone ridiculous, you know it must be bad. The sad thing is, apparently the average person is a total bozo...I wonder what that makes me.

You might wonder why I started this train of thought. Well, I'll tell you. I have an ebook reader, and sometimes I have to get books via someone shady means. To that end, I was curious about how these people scan the books to make them available for ebook reading. First you have the problem of the book's binding making it hard to scan. Next you have the difficulties with improper scan jobs giving you errors and other such things. So, I decided to see how it is done by checking Google.

I am sure that by now you have noticed that Google tries to help you by autocompleting things that you start to type. I usually tune them out, but happened to notice some ridiculous things this time. For example, I was trying to type 'How to properly scan a book', which is exactly what I was looking for. When I finished 'How to', I got some quality stuff.



The first one, about tying a tie...well, I can tie my own tie, but I guess it is reasonable that people don't know how. But from there it gets weird. How to kiss? Is that something that needs explaining? How to lose weight fast...hey I have a great idea, stop eating and start jogging! The next is the creme de la creme...how to get pregnant...I don't have anything more to say.

I kept typing, though, to try and find the answer to my original query. However, I got to 'How to properly s' when I got a whole slew of other crazy questions.



I guess nothing more needs to be said. Oh, actually, one more thing. I happened to find an old autocomplete picture on my computer...take a look at number three and wonder about what people are thinking when they look for this stuff.

I just walked in the door, and it is nearly 1:00am. The trip was great, everything was wonderful, and I am exhausted. I promise that I will have a nice update for tomorrow, but for now, it is snack time followed immediately by bed time.